


Surprise Attack

by Anonymous



Category: Political RPF - German 21st c., 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV), 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Angela Merkel as a Xianxia Clan Leader, Angela Merkel saving the Jiang clan, Don't Examine This Too Closely, Gen, I Don't Even Know, If you think someone beta read this absolute cracktastrophe of a fic you've got another thing coming, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:14:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28351500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Eagle-eyed as ever, Clan Leader Angela Merkel spots the front guard of the Wens, running under forest cover in order to attack the Jiang clan. She takes a deep breath as she readies her sword to confront the Core-Melting Hand.
Comments: 18
Kudos: 28
Collections: Anonymous





	Surprise Attack

The Wens were quickly gaining ground, encroaching on Jiang clan territory, even if they had to do it under the cover of both the forest and the night in order to maintain the element of surprise. They might even make it this very evening if they were lucky. Morale was good among the soldiers.

Wen Zhuliu notices it first - a slight change in the wind, perhaps. Something unusual is afoot. He stops, spreading confusion as a few soldiers around him ask what happened. Not what he wanted; he needs silence to discern whether they've been followed.

Silence isn't what he gets, however. "Why did you stop, old man?!" Wen Chao's voice echoes, loud enough to pose a risk to their mission even if everything was going as planned. Zhuliu stares at him, finger in his mouth, which only serves to anger the Wen heir. "If your bones can't handle it, stay behind! We've got to be fast! My father-!"

But he was interrupted by an arrow hitting him on the shoulder; the first of many to be shot at the Wen vanguard. The soldiers regrouped as Wen Zhuliu ran to his side to protect him, all hope of secrecy now lost. Slowly a small group of black-robed cultivators emerged from the trees as if out of thin air.

"What are you waiting for? Attack them, destroy them, I don't care who they are!" Wen Chao screamed, to no avail. His soldiers were too stunned to register his words, and Zhuliu himself knew his first duty was to protect him. He didn't even have time to examine his wounds yet, to determine the damage done - although it couldn't be too major as his superior's arrogance wasn't frayed in the slightest. A rustling of leaves in a sudden cold wind stopped his first attempts at aid. Every eye of the Wens turned to watch the only cultivator from the enemy camp without a bow arrive. A tall woman, as stony-faced as their own Core-Melting Hand, her sword already unsheathed.

Zhuliu immediately assumed a fighting stance, dread showing in his face. "Clan Leader Merkel, it has been a long time since we last met."

"Indeed it has," she answered, her grave voice only loud enough to be heard, her unreadable eyes narrowing.

"What?! No! You're lying!" Wen Chao turned to Zhuliu. "Angela Merkel has retired to the mountains! Clan Merkel is useless, in disarray, squabbling among themselves!"

Only then did she look at him, sending involuntary shivers down his spine. "Do not believe every rumor that reaches your ears, Young Master Wen." Despite her still impassive semblance the hostile tone of her voice was now evident; this seemed to wake the Wen soldiers from their trance and unsheathe their own swords, even if many now could not hold them without trembling. "Even if such a thing ever happened, the Wens should not expect to disturb the balance of the clans without a high price. Its payment begins now - defend yourself!" 

Only Zhuliu's quick reflexes saved them both at that moment, for it was the entirety of the opposing force that lunged directly at Wen Chao, not only their Clan Leader. The Wen soldiers' attempts at a defensive formation had limited success, as Clan Merkel were not only ferocious in their attacks but more disciplined than their counterparts. Their soldiers did not care about dying, ignoring their opponents' advances and focusing solely on the point the Wen Leader stood. It was a decapitation attempt, as Wen Chao himself understood - it seemed his brain did work, if only when it was his own life in danger, Zhuliu thought bitterly.

"Run! I mean, retreat and regroup! Back to our camp, you useless trash! This is an order!" But as his superior tried to find a way amidst the chaos to fly away he made Zhuliu lose his footing momentarily, and Merkel's sword made a deep wound in his body.

Retreat was now imperative. He couldn't protect Wen Chao in this state. Zhuliu grabbed him and flew away, without ever looking behind to his own soldiers, half of whom were dead or disarmed before their retreat. A complete rout.

***

Cheers went up among the Clan Merkel soldiers. A few of them shouted, "Give chase! Destroy the Wen warmongers!"

"No!" Merkel's firm shout halted those who were beginning to do so. "We should not. They are going back to their main forces, and we now have prisoners to take into account. The important step has been accomplished: we bought time for Jiang Clan to defend itself, and that's the direction we should head towards. Besides," and only then did she allow a small smirk, "my blade was tainted with poison. The great Core-Melting Hand shall find his recovery more difficult than he thinks."

At this, the soldiers rejoiced again. "Restrain the prisoners and confiscate all weapons. We must now warn Clan Leader Jiang," she said, cleaning her sword and preparing for the flight.

**Author's Note:**

> Don't ask me why I've written this; the idea just lodged itself in my mind and would not leave unless I wrote it!
> 
> I hope you've enjoyed(?) this!


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